It is hard to take the time to listen when the TV is blaring out its message and the radio and stereo are going in another segment of the house. Sound at some level is always going to become noise, ask any aging rock fan. Listening to one another seems to be a dying art in most of this society. It is one of the things that I think we ought to take more time to do, listen to one another. My grandchildren agree with that view of life as long as they are the ones being listened to in the process. I would like to live in a world where courtesy is a part of everyone's operating system. It simply makes things more pleasant. So let's make courtesy a primary thing on the list of things we owe one another.

Respect for the convictions of those opposed to us is a little harder to come by in an increasingly polarized world. The use of advertising methods in our political debate has reduced the level of respect that we grant one another related to our opposing views. The Rush Limbaughs of our world encourage that because it grants them authority based on their ability to eviscerate opponents verbally without granting them the dignity of their position. Their authority is seldom based on the merit of their positions. It is generally based on the same kind of response one bully gets from another in the hooting, mean and meaningless common denigration of those who are different based on mob psychology. Respect for differing opinions is something we owe one another in a democracy and without it social debates are reduced to vapid interest group based polarizations of reality.

We also owe one another the dignity of making our own mistakes without the obnoxious pretense that our interest in others lives gives us the right to intervene. Unless a consequence is so serious as to be life altering I have tried to adhere to that rule in dealing with my children since they discovered they were individuals. It is often hard and usually painful but growing up has a lot to do with learning to recognize your own tracks across the same ground upon which you made that mistake last time. If somebody else is shouting "turn back, it's a mistake to go there" most of us are perverse enough to try it in spite of our prior pain.

We owe one another the understanding of what drives our mouth to say the things it says. We need to know what makes our own internal verbal monologue break out and attack those around us. Many things are better left unsaid in my internal dialogue. I am convinced that when I remember that I serve the common interest better than when I indulge my propensity to breathe out through my mouth making noises all the while. It has taken me a lot of years to reach the level of restraint that I have arrived at during the last decade of my life. I still mistake my sarcasm for wit occasionally but far, far less than I did when I was young. Knowing a little about my drive to amuse others has saved me from myself many times in these last few years of my life.

Finally we owe one another the effort required to think about what we believe more than once. Adopting a belief is not a thing to be treated lightly and our beliefs should be questioned often in order to add any new information to the process of making up our minds. Questioning our own beliefs is hard but it is better than clinging to our prejudices and calling them articles of faith. The presumption that what I believed to be true at twenty is still what I believe at sixty would be so far wrong as to be a complete failure to comprehend who I am. Hopefully we all mature as we live and derive some value from the length of our life. If those who knew me at twenty were to spend a day with me now they would be either surprised at the difference in who I am or relieved that I made a little progress. None of them could mistake me for the same person even though some of them would probably hold on to some of the parts I have cast aside. We also owe others the right to change their minds and hearts throughout life. Moral superiority is a poor substitute for friendship and long friendships require the right to change in the case of both parties to the friendship. God bless and keep you safe in these less than civil times.